Those short hair struggles

I could've named this my "hairstory" but I thought that was too on the nose ...

Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

“You don’t have much luck with your hair, do you babe?”

“I really don’t”, I replied as I ran my index finger over the patch of missing hair above my left ear.

I think my husband was expecting a meltdown, some emotional turmoil he would need to tentatively wade through, saying things he’d hope would make me feel better as opposed to things which would inevitably make the situation worse. I was more in a state of disbelief. How had I not noticed it? I had rose from the salon chair, chatting, laughing, booking my next appointment. Had the hairdresser not seen the huge hole she had cut in the side of my head?

Apparently not.

How many times have you walked out onto the street following a hair appointment and cried? The pressure of holding it all together whilst nodding your head as the stylist waves the mirror around your freshly trimmed do, finally too much. I would say I have a handful of times. A handful of times too many. Usually it’s because the hairdresser cut my hair in a way I didn’t ask or want for it to be cut, leaving me looking like a 12 year old pixie boy. If they style it in a way which you don’t usually style your hair, that’s fine. You can fix that. And even a cut which isn’t in line with what you expected, can be rectified or at least it can grow. Plus you can walk out pretending as if everything is fine and ultimately never step foot in the place again.

A huge gap above your ear however is something which cannot be fixed and will take, I now know, a couple of weeks to grow out.

“I can wear my glasses to cover it,” I mused. “And maybe I can sweep this bit of hair over the gap and gel it down?”

I laughed, my husband looking on, nervously.

Reader, I didn’t freak out. The Lyndsay of a couple of years ago would definitely have done that. The Lyndsay that took herself too seriously and couldn’t look, or at least be perceived as looking, anything less than perfect. But the new me wondered what would be gained from reacting in such a way? It would merely add a whole lot more stress to the situation and it wouldn’t make my hair grow back any quicker. To be honest, I was more frustrated at the lack of competence displayed by the hairdresser. I was convinced she must have seen it and rather than admit her mistake, she let me pay £42 for the privilege and book a further appointment.

I’m precious over my hair. I can’t deny it. It’s also extremely hard to find a hairdresser who can cut short hair and then one who can cut short hair in a good way. When we first moved to Brighton, it took me four hairdressers before I found the one. I then proceeded to use him for five years. He cut my hair for my wedding. He started to cut my husband’s hair. I think he will probably be the best hairdresser I will ever have.

I miss him.

But then we went travelling and I had to let him go, along with any chance of a decent haircut. Whilst on the road, I had my hair cut in France, Spain, Greece, by a German lady on a campsite. Between those cuts I would thin my hair myself - my hair is insanely thick and sort of grows into a mushroom - whilst Sean would trim around my neck and ears. It wasn’t ideal but it was passable. I learnt that short hair doesn’t work for life in a van. But short hair is just, well, me.

I had long hair until I was about 19 or 20. It was unruly, to say the least. I remember when I was a kid, constantly begging my mum to buy me this new product or that pair of hair straighteners which would tame my frizzy curls.

“But your curls are gorgeous,” everyone would tell me. We all know that no matter how many people tell you it’s gorgeous, you never believe them and know them in fact to be lying just because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

I then went for the chop. I can’t really remember what made me do it but I loved my new bob and the red I dared to dye it. I then proceeded to go shorter and shorter. I’ve had longer short hair. I’ve had pixie short hair. I’ve had a huge sweeping fringe. I’ve had a shaved side. My hair on my wedding is probably my favourite. Although I had a catastrophe a few days before which involved a box dye and an emergency call to my beloved hairdresser to bleach out the black. Not all my hair faux pas have been caused by professionals, let me tell you.

But, back to my recent struggle. I know we all have bad work days, days where we fuck up. Usually I wouldn’t complain, choosing instead to vote with my feet. But as I continued to stare and as my husbands shoulders relaxed when he realised he wasn’t going to have to call me down from a ledge, I told him I was going to say something.

“Do you want me to drive you back?” he asked.

God no, I wasn’t that brave.

“I’ll send an Instagram message, you know, the acceptable mode of communication for the present day.”

So I did just that, sending a direct message to the salon along with a photo of my hair so she knew I wasn’t some chancer. She was quick to respond and apologise, offering me to pop back so she could fix it. I admired her generosity however the saying “fool me twice” sprang to mind… What was she going to do, stick the tiny strands of hair back on my head? Or maybe try and blend it in? All trust was gone by this point so instead I politely asked for a refund which she promptly paid.

I’m glad I said something. We all make mistakes but how we do we learn from them if nobody provides any feedback and if we instead go about our lives pretending everything is ok? That haircut was not ok and the hairdresser needed to know that, even if we both felt uncomfortable at the time.

I’ve since found a new salon, a new hairdresser, and I asked her why she thinks it can be challenging to find a hairdresser with experience of cutting short hair. She said a lot of apprentice hairdressers are nervous attempting short hair, that they are more interested in styling long hair and experimenting with colours. It’s a shame. I don’t believe short hair is going anywhere. In the meantime, as we continue to move around, I’m going to have to increase my due diligence, keep hunting down those hairdressers with a satisfying portfolio of short hair styling, and saying a little prayer before stepping through any salon doors.

I know you’ve all probably been reading with baited breath to see the cut itself so here you go. And, reader, what do you think? Did the hairdresser notice or not…?

And, just for fun, here is a mini hair photo timeline in case you’re interested! I had to delve deep into the archives for that first one and I annoyingly couldn’t find any of the red bob but you get the idea 💜